will not cast off forever,
but, though he cause grief,
he will have compassion
according to the abundance
of his steadfast love;
for he does not willingly afflict
or grieve the children of men.
Innocent or not, condemned Irish prisoners in the early centuries, were often put on a boat without paddles, food or water. Pushed out to sea, they were left to the mercy of the currents.
My present sorrow was not caused by my guilt or any wrongdoing, however, I remain at its mercy. In my condemned boat I cry, what have I done and where is my hope?
Rising and falling I remember the engraved silver angel hovering above the kitchen sink. "I know God will give me the strength to endure. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much." The author of these words, Mother Teresa, knew something about suffering. Perhaps she was right–this grief may be about God trusting me.
Forget trust. I want compassion and feel good love! Entrusting me with grief is beyond my abilities. Yes! It is beyond my abilities! My only response can be to return trust to the God who entrusted me and will protect me in this sorrow boat. Helpless and unable to change its course I rely on his compassion and love to rule the currents. He will guide it to a solid place. This journey will take time. My hope is in the God who trusts me.
Lord, thank you for riding with me in this sorrow boat!
Your compassion and love give me strength.
This journey may be long or short but,
I will trust you to get me to a solid place. AMEN.